So often we are told to get rid of all our limiting beliefs and that is a very good thing. However that doesn’t mean that those beliefs we have about ourselves are never true. In fact very often they are true.
So getting rid of them just by denying them is really not helpful and often counter-productive. By denying the truth about ourselves we limit our ability to confront issues that need dealt with in order for us to move forward.
Our limiting beliefs are there to teach us what needs to be worked on for us to realise our full potential.
So rather than deny them, its much more helpful to acknowledge them and then ask ourselves the question “what do I need to learn so that this is no longer true?” or “how can I adjust my thinking so that I can move past this obstacle”. This way we are only dealing with truth in our lives.
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One of the things that will stall your success more quickly than anything else, whether in business or personally, is avoiding or refusing to deal with the truth. I see it all the time and it drives me crazy. If you don’t deal with the truth, however difficult and unpleasant it may be, you are not dealing with reality. You are tilting with windmills, wasting time solving problems which don’t exist and pandering to egos that really don’t merit pandering.
One of the basic principles in my TEAM Magic programme is “affirm and embrace the truth”. And yet so often I see people afraid to do just that. And often with good reason because when they do do it they get accused of stirring up trouble or of upsetting people. People can and do lose their jobs for telling the truth and that is a terrible thing.
The truth is that some people need to be upset if they are not doing what’s needed or in a way that gets the results required. Sometimes its ignorance, you don’t know what you’re doing, in which case the truth is useful because it will serve to educate you. Sometimes its fear, in which case the truth is useful because if you don’t face your fears they will just get bigger and bigger until they totally consume you. Sometimes its ego, in which case get over it and grow up. Your ego will be much healthier and happier when it has real success rather than toadying and sycophancy, and real success comes from truth.
You can argue with the truth for all eternity but you will lose – and only every time.
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Its really important when you are setting goals to have a very clear idea of where you are now. Often people get so caught up in the idea of their exciting goals that they forget to look at where they are – they are so focused on the future that they forget about the now.
Think about it this way – what is the point of asking for directions or even looking at a map if you have no idea of where you are? If you asked for directions from Dubai to Abu Dhabi but then you later found out you were actually in Al Ain, what good would those directions do you? Even if they were the best most detailed instructions possible, you’d see some nice scenery, but you wouldn’t have much chance of getting to Abu Dhabi until you redrew your map! Its all very well having a clear and vibrant vision of where you want to be, but for it to be any use to you, you first must get a clear and accurate picture of where you are now.
First get the facts – How much money do you have now? How much time can you devote to it now? Who are the people you can call on for help now? What resources do you have now? What experience do you have now? A reality check means you need to be very honest with yourself, some of the answers to these questions may not be the ones you would wish for, but like it or not, they are your current reality. You can argue with reality all you like but it will always win, so don’t waste your energy!
A good old fashioned SWOT analysis can be really useful here – look at your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats. The more details you get here the more accurate your map will be and the more quickly you can get to where you want to be! Do not make assumptions – there’s another old saying – “when you assume you make an Ass of U and Me” – assumptions have a bad habit of getting you into big trouble further down the line, so make sure you get the facts!
Some people don’t like to look in too much detail at their current reality, especially if it isn’t all that pleasant – sure, it might feel a bit like negative thinking, scary even. But you’re not going to be there for long, so have the courage to look at it square on and then wave it goodbye!
It really doesn’t matter how uncomfortable your current reality is if you have a great plan for changing it, but if you make plans for your future based on an inaccurate version of your real situation, you will be building on sand.
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How do you make affirmations that work?
Traditional thinking about affirmations says you should think about what you would like to have and then affirm in the present tense that you already have it. This way, they say, you can make the power of the law of attraction work for you.
Well, this sounds plausible but honestly, do you think your brain is stupid?
If you affirm to it that you are a size 10 when you’re actually a 20, do you think its going to believe you?
If you affirm that you have a million in the bank when actually you don’t know how you’re going to pay your bills this month, is that going to make you rich?
If you affirm that you love your job when the reality is that you work for a neanderthal boss in a meaningless job, is that going to give you career satisfaction?
Of course not! In fact what it will do is confirm to your subconscious that you are nuts and not worth listening to!
What’s more is it will make your brain focus on the gap between where you want to be and where your reality is and that is pretty stressful.
What you need to do is affirm to yourself the TRUTH about your life – that you are beautiful and wonderful and getting fitter and healthier every day. That your financial wisdom is increasing exponentially and creating a wonderful platform for freedom. That you are brilliant and resourceful and an asset to your employers.
If you fill up your mindspace with life affirming TRUTHS there will be no space for the negative stuff.
More on this later…
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