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Posts Tagged ‘dreams’

Yes, OK, I know it’s not sexy but slow and steady really is what it takes to get the job done.

In this era of “Secrets” and American Idols where overnight success with seemingly very little effort is promoted as the norm, and even success coaches are constantly telling you to get out of your comfort zone and subtly implying that if you don’t you’re a wimp, its easy to feel inadequate if you’re not making things happen in a big way and fast.

But the truth is, if you look behind the stories of these “quick change artists” you’ll find a very different story. Almost without exception they have all worked long and hard and been totally focused for years and years and years on achieving their dreams. They’ve tried and failed and got back up again and tried again, and again, and again. And they’ve kept getting back up until they’ve achieved their goal. They’ve decided that failure is not an option and that the only failure is not getting back up.

Success is hard work and it rarely happens in a straight line. But if you can learn to enjoy the journey and treat each failure as a lesson you needed to learn to get to where you want to be, you will not only achieve your dreams but you will have a whole load of great stories to tell along the way. Lets face it, overnight successes are pretty boring people!

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We all have the same 24 hours in a day and at the moment, until someone perfects a time machine,  we all use all of them every day. We don’t get a refund if we use some of those hours in a less than productive way, and its not as if we can keep them in the bank and save them for when we need them. In fact the whole concept of “saving time” is deeply flawed!

So if you want to introduce something new into your life, whether its new goals or new activities, the one absolute certainty is that something old is going to have to move out. And if you don’t consciously move it out then one of two things has to happen – either something else will move to accommodate the new activity but it won’t be something of your choice, or the new activity will not take hold and your new goals will not be achieved.

Think of it this way. Imagine you decide that you need to lose weight and you decide to introduce a great new healthy eating programme into your life. But you don’t change your existing eating habits at all. So you’re eating all this good healthy stuff, but at the same time continuing to eat all old old rubbish that was making you fat. What do you think the result would be? Do you think adding in the healthy eating programme would help you lose weight or make you feel better?

It might seem obvious when applied to diets but time and again I see people doing the same thing with other goals and they wonder why they don’t get the results they know they deserve.

Often letting go of things is scary, but it has to be done. What do you have to let go of in your life to allow new results to come in?

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It could be argued that without passion nothing happens. Almost certainly you or I wouldn’t be here without it!

So if gratitude is the energising power of the universe, passion is the match that sets it all in motion.

The problem is, since early childhood most of us have been trained to focus not on what we passionately want out of life, but what we think we can get. At around the age of seven we stop wanting to be astronauts, magicians and princesses and spend the next ten years or so trying to figure out what we want to be if we can’t get what we really want.

Is it any wonder there is so much discontent in the world?

Because the thing is, the people who really stuck with their dreams and didn’t allow anyone to deflect them from their passion are the ones who are living their dreams right now.

What’s your dream? What did you dream of doing when you were seven? When you were a child you probably didn’t know any better than to listen to those people who told you your dreams were impossible and you should be “realistic”. What they really meant was they wanted you to come and live in their reality. But now you’re a grown up and you can think for yourself.

Why would you continue to allow anyone to steal that dream from you?

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I made a client laugh yesterday when I told her she was probably going to have to kiss some frogs so she might as well do it with purpose and get as much learning out of the experience as possible!

You know the old saying – “you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince”. Well its true in business too. You will have to do business with some complete idiots before you find your dream clients! Some people will treat you badly. Some will fail to pay you. Some will just be totally disorganised and not have a clue what they’re doing. Some will have business ethics that make sewers smell fragrant! Unpleasant as they are, they are all learning opportunities for you!

And not everything we have to do to achieve our dreams is going to be pleasant. Sometimes we have to do stuff we don’t want to do in order to get the results we want. Lets face it, who really wants to get up at 5am to go to the gym, or to a networking meeting? But while we may not want to do the thing – we want the results of the thing more! We are doing the thing with purpose!

And when you do things that other people are not prepared to do, you will get results that other people can only dream of!

 

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I have to admit I was kind of expecting it, though I really hoped it wouldn’t happen. But yes, true to form, one helpful friend had to point out to me that, although there was a Maserati parked in my garage, it didn’t actually belong to me and so it didn’t count.

Well, I’m sorry but “You Know Who You Are” – you are dead wrong and this is why: on my vision board there is a picture of my dream car, I haven’t specified anywhere that it is my car, just that it is in my life. And it is. Now, by activating my gratitude vibration I can attract more of what I want into my life. So by saying thank you for the beautiful car that I got to play with all weekend and thank you to myself for creating such a compelling vision board, I am telling my subconscious to go look for other opportunities to bring more of these wonderful things into my life.

Now if I had been thinking along “You Know Who You Are”‘s lines I would have been thinking “silly me, I didn’t want it that way!” Which doesn’t activate the gratitude vibration one little bit. Quite the reverse, it shuts it down. And that’s the last thing we want.

What I really want to say to my subconscious, or the universe or whatever you like to call it is “Thank you, that is wonderful, please can I have more like this”.

Remember, what you want wants you.

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Lets get one thing very clear about Dream Stealers. They are a particularly nasty form of energy vampire and worth learning to defend against!

A person is a dream stealer if they laugh and scoff at your big dreams and tell you that there’s no way that you are worthy or capable of achieving of such great ideals.

A person is a dream stealer if they laugh and scoff at your dreams and ideals to create a perfect family and home life and tells you you should be thinking bigger and more impressive goals.

Your dreams are yours and it is no one elese’s place to judge if they are worthy of you or if you are worthy of them. No matter how big or how small, stay connected to your dreams and don’t let anyone else tell you what’s right!

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Yesterday I talked about how its good to share your goals with other people because often you have no idea who can help you. But it is true that there are dream stealers out there who like nothing better than to bring everyone down to their level.

Sharing your dreams is taking a big risk, especially if you accidentally share them with an energy vampire and find all the joy and excitement being sucked out of you!

Here’s the thing to remember if that happens – this person is only behaving like this because they have no dreams of their own. Or maybe they have dreams but they are too fearful to take action on them. Hard as it is, you should feel compassion for them rather than anger.

But here’s the really exciting possibility – by sharing your dreams with them you might just inspire them enough for them to muster up the courage to take a look at what might be possible in their life.

Doesn’t that make the risk worth it?

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Anyone who’s ever read any books on goal setting will have heard the phrase “Don’t ask how” and probably wondered how that makes any sense! I know I did!

In fact it doesn’t make any sense until you understand the sequence of thinking needed to successfully set and achieve goals. It not that you never ask how, but if you ask “how” while you’re deciding on your goals you will almost certainly give up before you start. In fact for any worthwhile goal its almost certain that you will not know how when you start out on the journey. That’s where the learning and personal growth comes in! Its only once the decision has been made that the “how” question becomes relevant.

Years ago Bob Proctor asked me what my dream car was and I told him it was a Porsche Boxster (yes, I’m a petrolhead, sorry!). Then he asked me why I didn’t have one and I told him I didn’t have the money for it. He said to me “But you don’t need the money, you haven’t decided to get the car yet!” Initially I was confused and even a bit irritated! But the more I thought about it the more I realised that what I had done was to ask how I was going to get the car before I had decided to get it. In other words, I had made achieving the goal conditional on figuring out the “how”, and in doing so I had stopped myself dead.

In 1961, almost 50 years ago to the day, when US President John F. Kennedy announced that he would form a team that would put a man on the moon, he had no earthly idea how it would be done, but once the decision was made it was inevitable that it would be achieved. Only once the decision was made did the question stop being “can it be done?” and start being “how can it be done?” And by making the decision, he drew to him all the resources and all the people who had also made the same decision.

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Have you ever tried to push a car round a corner from a standing start? It’s pretty difficult, isn’t it? But once you’ve got it moving, its much easier to make it go in the direction you want.

The same is true in life. When you’re feeling stuck its really hard to get up any enthusiasm for anything, let alone following your dreams. So the key is to get moving doing anything – really anything at all that will create some momentum. Once you’ve created some momentum you can then focus on directing that energy where you want it to go. That’s why it doesn’t matter where you start, just that you start.

Do some easy things, get that energy flowing and only then focus on what needs to happen to make your dreams come true. If you feel yourself getting stuck again go back to the easy things. Don’t let the energy falter in the early stages and don’t worry that you don’t seem to have any focus and direction, that will come.

Watch migrating birds to see how it should feel – they flap and flap and flap to create the energy and momentum so they can take off, then they seem to fly around aimlessly a few times until they get their bearings, then suddenly they all join up in formation with other birds with the same intentions and off they go.

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Its the start of a new week, and a new month and a new season and its even a new moon so what better time to start working on some exciting new projects? In ancient times it was thought that planting seeds on the new moon gave a better harvest and science has actually confirmed this is true!

So even if you think you are not ready, begin anyway – use the energy of this new moon to plant your seeds.

This is one of my favourite quotes of all time which says it so much better than I can:

The Scottish Himalayan Expedition

By: W.H. Murray

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner
of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamt would come his way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:
‘Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.’

 

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