A friend told me the other day that she had been told by a self-appointed personal development “guru” that when someone treated you badly you should thank them and be grateful for the lessons they had taught you! Now it might be true on a very deep level that there’s possibly some wisdom in what she said, but I was horrified by the lack of compassion and the fact that she was telling this person that any negative response she had to this behaviour was wrong and effectively she should just “suck it up” because on a karmic level she had asked to experience this.
Here’s what I think – firstly there is a time and place for learning lessons and when you’re right in the middle of something challenging happening to you, you are not in the right place to evaluate lessons! What you need at that point is empathy and probably a big hug and maybe even a large glass of wine!
Maybe with hindsight you will see that it was a valuable experience, and it is usually true that the most negative experiences give us the greatest opportunities for growth, but its really hard to get that kind of perspective when you’re right in it.
Secondly, whatever karmic agreements may have been made in other lifetimes (or whatever you believe) it is still not OK for people to treat you badly! And it is quite OK to tell them so! Maybe the karmic lesson that person needs to learn is that when they behave badly they get a sharp kick in the bum! Maybe its not even your lesson – lets face it, it’s not always about you!
When we experience challenging issues there’s always lessons to be learned and sometimes one of them is that we don’t need to allow other people to treat us badly!