It always annoys me when people say “you can’t have your cake and eat it”. I mean, what is the point of having cake if you don’t eat it? Are you just going to sit and stare lovingly at it while it grows a fur coat and starts to smell odd?
Its the same with this “all or nothing” mentality that so many people have. The truth is that nothing is totally bad, or totally good. Nothing is totally wrong or totally right. Nothing is ever black and white. Within all failure is the seed of success. It is perfectly possible for good and evil to exist in the same place at the same time.
Holding on to the belief that things are black or white makes decision making unnecessarily difficult. If you are looking for an answer that gives you ALL the answer then you’re probably going to be looking for a long time. And all the time you’re looking you are probably not taking action – so while its a great excuse for procrastination its never going to get you the results you’re looking for.
Mostly you just have to choose the best answer at the time, with the full and conscious knowledge that perhaps with hindsight you will realise you could have made a better decision, but you’d never have known this if you hadn’t taken the decision you did. If you’d known better you’d have done better. That’s what learning is all about.
Most aspects of our lives have good bits and bad bits. No job is 100% fabulous all of the time – but would you chuck in a job because some aspects of it were no fun? No relationship is 100% wonderful all of the time, how boring would that be? And do you end a relationship because a part of it is not perfect? Some people do, but they rarely find happiness. No one has the perfect life all the time, but let’s face it, its better than the alternative!
Accepting that things and people can be both ways, both good and bad, is a big part of the growing up process!